Carrying an illness

    by Rohee Shah

    Feel how much larger the world is when you are alone. – Tishani Doshi
    I stand on the edge of
    the shore, looking at the sea
    wondering how far
    I have come and
    how far I am meant to be

    I am trying to find words and images to explain my loss

    but I am out of words
    and I carry images
    in my memory
    images of who I was
    and how it changed
    with one single
    disease.

    I used to be pure
    and protected- I couldn’t
    even lie properly!

    Umm, this is just some allergy,
    I recently got this,
    I think it’s a side-effect of corona

    the other knew right away
    what it was, they did not
    have anything to say
    or ask of me

    Neither did I.
    Nor do I.

    The waves gushing over
    each waiting to listen to
    parts of my story
    from the silence within me

    my memory fades into
    the space where the
    sea and sky meet

    The sea now
    carries my secret,
    emptying me of my illness

    I feel naked-
    an azure sky
    carrying the color
    the sea gave me.

    Rohee Dholakia is an Educator based out of Ahmedabad. She is working with Tide Foundation as an Executive Director and is also a Life-skills Trainer for other NGOs. Her work has been previously published in an anthology titled Kontinental Tales. She is a member of “The Quarantine Train.”

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